Get closer to your true self

Over the years, after a painful divorce, I truly change a lot.  Not just my physic or appearence, I change inside. 

It's like I have push the button eject and get rid of the bad in me. I was sick of being so sensitive, insecure, anxious, dependant and have a low self-esteem.  We often said that when you touch the bottom, you just have to come back to the top, it was my case.

People around me often thought that it was just as easy at pushing a real button. Because people often look at the final result and not the long way to get to it. I decide today to write a post on how I did it what was the steps for me to truly change and become my true self.

I am in constant evolution and still in the process of changing some things I don't like about myself so I will keep you guys update!

First of all : Don't over talk about your problems 

I used to focus a lot of my problems and not on the solutions. I used to talk and talk and talk about my problems. I don't know if it was to have the sympathy, the approval or whathever but I was always complaining about how my life sucks.

I spent a lot of time alone

At first I thought I was dying from inside. I hate it. I felt that my life have no sense but I needed to spent time alone and truly feel lonely, until being alone was comfortable. At the final, I learn to like it, I learn to be in peace with myself. When you are good with yourself you can spend a whole weekend by yourself doing stuff alone and truly enjoy it. This is the key to freedom, be able to be as happy alone than with people. 

Learn to listen to your inner voice and say NO

Saying no it was so difficult for me. Every sunday I had lunch at my mom and spend the day there. I had a lot of things to do, sometimes I was exhausted of my week, I didn't want to go but I kept going. Until one day I decide I wanted a whole sunday for myself doing nothing!

I said no. At first it surprise others when you say no without explaining yourself or by telling the truth but they understand. After that, I went everytime I wanted to go not by obligation. 

Learning to listen to yourself, to put you limit and know what is good and not for you is crucial. 

You have the right to have an opinion and the right to say no. 

Try new things to learn what you like 

You have no hobby? Nothing set your soul on fire? Try to find something, anything. Collecting stamps, dancing, zumba, working out, painting...whatever. Try new things and found something you truly like. 

Don't try to do the trendy things just because everybody does, try something according to who you are and what you like. Don't know where to start? Think about something you used to like to do when you were younger. There is an hobby outhere for you, you just need to find it.

Be the person you want to meet

That is so true and powerful. When I used to be anxious, I wish people will be more easy with me. So I became the person I needed too. I stop complaining, I start being positive and I start being the person I wanted to have in my life. It was not fake, it was changing some bad habits to be better with others. When you are better with others, you are better with yourself. 

Don't be scared of what people will think. 

I am too fat to workout, I am too ugly to model, I am too stupid to study... Stop thinking all the bad things about yourself, stop judging you and forget what people will think. 

You wanna do something? Do it, you have just one life and if you constantly think about what others think of you, you will end up doing nothing and be miserable. 

Look at yourself for a minute, are you the judging type? Are you the kind of person who constantly analize and judge others? If the answer is yes, it has to start with yourself. Stop being so judgemental with others and you will not worry so much about what others think. 

Hope this paper help you guys ! Please comment or suscribe with your email address. 

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How to make a good first impression!

I'm working in business development and I know how a good first impression can kill you.

It also true in your personnal life. For a first date, a job interview, meeting your boyfriend family for the first time, first impression is primordial. 

Base on science a first impression is make in 1|10 of second! So don't miss your chance. 

Also, it's been prove that a first impression is really hard to change, yes people judge a book by the cover.

So now, how to make a good first impression? Here is some tips :

Adapt your clothing for the occasion

If you are going in a casual sunday barbecue you will not wear the same clothes than on a job interview. So first, adapt your clothing for the occasion you are attending to. And remember, you may have a really distinct style but don't go too much on it. Stay classy, fully cover & pretty.

Smile

Yes you may be shy or little embarassed to meet new people, but smile. If you don't have anything smart to say, just listen.

Participate 

Try to participate without taking too much space. Nobody like somebody who take all the space and talk without taking a breath. Just prove you are happy to be there and you want to be part of it.

Speak the truth

Always!! Don't try to be someone you are not or pretending to know something you don't. Also, don't lie on loving something you truly hate. Especially on a first date, don't say you are into sport if you like to compete on how much hour you can stay watching netflix. Be yourself it's the most important think.

Tell how you feel

You are shy ? You have trouble speaking in public ? Tell it. I can relate to my own experience. I am a native french speaker and at first when I met people in the states , I always say that they have to speak slowly to me cause I am not used to english. People are more kind, they understant and they ajust. It is better to tell the truth than to look like a fool.

Stay classy

Sometimes you talk like a sailor ? Watch your mouth for a first impression. Sometimes we want to fit in or be funny but it's not funny if you are not classy. Be yourself but keep a little reserve if you are to much extravert.

Now you are ready ! You have another tips ; comment below !

How to boost your motivation at work!

We will all agree with that, sometimes we better stay under our blankets and do nothing than going to work. It happen to everyone to hate their job & have an hard time finding motivation.

In my country, I used to have a job at customer service that I truly hate, but I had a big salary, good benefits etc... I had to find a way to stay motivate & love going there 40 hours per week or I wouldn't be able to survive. Now I am lucky I have a job that I love & I'm working from home but sometimes I still need some motivation!

Let me share what It really work for me :

Bond with your colleagues!

It is the first thing to do. I don't tell you to love everybody, but find at least one person to be friend with, to have good conversation at break time, someone you can talk to when you think you are not able to do it anymore.

Stop complaining

Yes your job suck, yes you are tired, yes you are not pay enough, yes your boss is a jerk ...all the reasons are there when you want to find negativity! Stop complaining & having a pity party. Put your big pants on and handle every situation with a big smile & positive vibes. Even if you are complaining every seconds about everything, it won't change, you will still be there until the end of your shift.

Have a passion outside work

Have a passion outside work that make you feel like you are doing something with your life. Whatever it is, do something you are passionate about & make you feel good to be alive. It will keep you in a good mood to handle life at work.

Take a breath of fresh air

At least one time per day, go outside and take a breathe of fresh air. A short walk or just sitting outside will make you feel like you are enjoying the day & will provide you the energy you need to keep going.

Have pictures that remind you your life "outside"

Surround yourself with pictures of your people, your cat, your dog or everything that make you happy. You work to pay a trip to Bali ? Put some pictures of Bali on your desk & focus on this. When you have a hard time, look at your pictures or things that remind you "your life outside work". It is just a job, not your whole world.

Make something special

Once per week, make something special. Something like : every friday we are eating out, every friday morning you buy yourself a coffee & a donut at the coffee shop.. Something that will make you look forward to that day & will make you feel like you did it!

Be a better employee 

Ok this one seem weird but it is true. If you are trying to be better at your work, you will find that you like it more. Sometimes, all we need is a little boost of self confidence to kick us & give us the motivation back. You think you need more training to improve ? Ask for it.  I bet your boss will be happy to know you want a be better. Do the best that you can, everyday so at the end of the day you can enjoy the fact that you did good.

Don't bring your problems at home

It is ok to talk to your people about your struggles. But if you come back home everyday super moody, complaining about everything, they will be tired of earing you. Manage your stress and your hate & if you really need to talk about, do a 5 minutes of complaining & then get over it.

Get over it

There is no perfect job, there will always be at least one colleague that will get on your nerves, there is always phase when you want to quit everyting and say fu....that sh... but get over it. Brace yourself, chin up & be an adult. Yes working suck sometimes but this is part of life. We can't be all hippies doing nothing all day & living from the homemade soap we did every full moon ..

You can do it !
Make a huge coffee and face the week!

Why I decide to stop drinking alcohol

I decided a few months ago to cut drinking wine & other alcohol every week. Yes you read it right. 

I was used to drink a bottle of wine, or some beers every weekend. I needed my glasses of wine at friday night . I don't know exactly when alcohol is really a problem but I considered that I was on my way to develop one with time.

The problem was not that I like to drink wine sometimes, the problem was that I needed it. 

The problem was that when I open a bottle, I was likely to finish it. The problem was that when I am a little bit drunk, I am becoming a nightmare. 

Here in the south, most people don't really drink by religious conviction. I think it is very noble of them. 

For me, it's not about religion (I am a believer don't misunderstand me) it's just because it is just not good for me. Nothing in it is good for my body & mind.

We are not a good match, we don't fit together anymore. Sometimes I order a drink at the restaurant and end up wishing I ordered a soda. My taste has changed and i'm proud of it.

I notice that since I quit alcohol, wine is everywhere. We live in a society that encourage people to drink.. Drinking wine is trendy. But, is it cool to wake up every saturday morning with an hangover ? Don't think so.

Is is cool to ruined your health and your liver, not for me. I used to read funny meme on pinterest about wine and thought it was "SO me". Is it? I mean, in all that I am as an human being, loving wine is not what I am proud of. Actually, it is the opposite. 

I really believe we should think that people who can have fun without drinking are the coolest.  

In a quest of being more myself, of becoming the person my soul is truly, drinking is not the way for me to get there. The best way to get there is to be true to myself and be ALL THERE. 

I don't think I am here & now when I am drunk.

I also noticed that it is hard to accept for some people. "You are boring, let's have fun" or " Just one glasse will not kill you ". I know. I know that, why you just don't accept that I CHOOSE not to ?
I am enough like I am. If i'm invited somewhere, it's because you want me to be there. So that I drink a diet coke or a huge beer is not supposed to change anything.

So this is why I quit alcohol, just because I wanted to. Because I think it's not good for me anymore & I am proud of it.

If you are running after happiness, it's time to stop!

We all know that one facebook friend that have the perfect life. Perfect home, perfect lifestyle, perfect job, perfect husband, perfect kids.... And as an human being it is prove that we are all attract by that kind of life.

Why  ? Because we were raised to be. Marketing make us thing that we NEED certain type of products to be happy. We all have our own idea of success but most of the time it is associate with money and stuff.
Someone once told me, if you are really happy in life, do you really need to show it on social media? That makes sense... The grass look always greener on your neighboor side...
Why are we obsessed to show on social media our happiness & our cool lifestyle?

Let's do something :
I want you to remember your own memories and note it. Take a step back to think about these moments

-The happiest moment that you had with your parents ?
-The happiest memory with your boyfriend / husband ?
-The best memory of your whole life?
-The best moment that you feel that everything was right and perfect?

Now, tell me if it was associate with money or material?

I bet the best memory you had with your parents was NOT when they bought the new egyptian carpet for 1000 $.

The best memory with your husband was probably NOT the moment that the two of you bought a new car.
The happiest moment of your life was NOT the perfect big TV you bought....

So why material and money would make us happy? Because we think this way.
If we stop and look around, we will found beauty and happinest in simple thing :

Play chest with your child, reading a book, walking hand in hand with your boyfriend, watching the stars at night,  listening to your favorite artist while you are cooking... This is simple, this is happiness.

Yes it is an inside job, yes it is something you have in yourself.  Because you may compare everything you have and everything you are to someone else, it won't make you happy. This is not how you are gonna feel happiness.

Maybe you need to change some things, maybe you need to look inside yourself what you want & really need. But I guarantee you that is not in money & materials that you are gonna find it.

You want to find happiness?  Stop, breathe and look around. I bet it is just in front of you and you miss it!


And you, what make you happy ?

How to beat Stress & Anxiety

It's not a secret, I am person who deal with stress and anxiety since i'm a little girl. But now the difference is that I can deal with it, I can control it and it didn't ruin my life anymore . I can manage my stress and it's a huge change in my life.
There is no boundaries like it used to be.

I am the kind of girl  who tried everything ! From the happy breathing books to hynosis, here is the things that really work (for me ) to reduce stress & anxiety.

A panic attack is maximum 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, your body relief natural signal to your brain to calm down. If you are in a huge panic attack thing about it, it will be over in 45 minutes. I CAN DO IT !

Inhale & Exhale 

Yes this is simple but inhale for 7 seconds, hold 5 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds. It's magic.
It's natural and you can repeat that as long as you need it.

Be in nature 

Nature is really special. When you spend some time outside looking at god creation, you know there is a world bigger than you & for me is always have the effect of calming my soul. Hearing the birds, the leaves, the wind, it's a good way to relax.

Happy thoughts & happy activities

A lot of people don't believe in the power of happy mantra but it really work. Speak to yourself in a gentle way. Remember that you are enough, you can do it and there is nothing that will destroy your inner peace. Identify the activities that you are doing that relief your stress and do it as often as you can.

Read on that subject 

If you want to beat the ennemy you have to know the ennemy, right? Yes that is right, read about anxiety and Stress. Take the more info you can about it & It will help you fight it.

Your brain is the strongest

Yes, it can play with you sometimes but your brain is the big winner. So tell your brain that you are not allow it to destroy your peace and be stress. When you are soooo anxious tell yourself out loud that anxiety is not gonna win , your brain decide and he choose peace

Distract your mind

When you are anxious you are overthinking and focusing to much. When it happen, distract your mind doing something or chewing something. If you are at work, chew a piece of gum and focus on your work the more you can, you will see, it will go away.


Identify your stress trigger & expose yourself to it. 

Exposure is a part of the therapy. I know it's hard but you have to expose yourself to realize that you are strongest than your fears.  You will keep the memory of that time that  you were able to do it and it will improve your self confidence

Talk about it 

Don't be ashame of dealing with anxiety. EVERYONE is expose to stress but it's different intensity for every person and that is ok. If you open yourself about your stress, you will see how much people feel  you & are compassionate about it.

Go find help 

If stress is ruining your life and you can't deal with it anymore, go get help. There is something out there for you. For some people it is medication, therapy, hypnosis, acupucture, yoga etc.. there is something for you. Try something ! If it's not working, try something else, until you found the right thing for YOU.
We are all differents after all.


You are not alone

Don't hide yourself at home. Let people see you the way you are, even if you are deep in your anxiety and let people help you. You are not alone in this. Remember that everyone experience stress, stress come and go. It's never a permanent situation. So no need to think you will never beat it. You can do it I believe in you!


Hope this text help you! Please leave a comment!

Unplug yourself !

One of the part of the Hygge and Minimalist Lifestyle that I really like it's to unplug ourself from social media & technology to learn how to live in the moment.

It is super hard those days to do it! It's just part of our routine to do it.
For me, the social medias are a good way to stay in touch with my family & friends that live so far away from me.

The other day the storm in the south was so intense we lose TV & Internet and we almost hyperventilate. No joke, we we're like... boring! Because we are not used to live without it, live like we used to do before.

But I learn throught experience and years that social medias need to be use in the good way.
I will say something that can't be read everywhere... the stalking on social media.

You know, that ex you broke up with a couple years ago that you go take a look at his page sometimes ... The girl your guy used to date, and you  taking a look at her instagram and compare yourself.
The test of : what kind of tattoo you should have? what haircolor is your perfect match ? what Simpson's caracter are you?.....

You know what I am talking about...that time waste. I used to have a routine with social media everynight I was taking a look at my facebook before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up... Why ? What would I miss ? Hum... Nothing. That Jessie is Lisa, that my aunt should have a butterfly tattoo and that the girl I went to kindergarten with, got a new boyfriend.

Yes, this is the kind of infos we are looking at everyday and they are more than useless.
When I was a teenager we didn't have all that (thank god!) and I spent my free time, making my homework, hanging out with my friends  & family and Reading.
So why now that I am an adult and more responsabilities ( so less free time) will I spend that precious time on social medias?

Yes this technology have some good, publishing that blog, having new clients, making friends, staying in touch with our people and this is how we should use it.

I am not proposing to live a life without that (it's not realistic) but to set some goals to unplug sometimes.

• Making a movie night with the cellphone in a basket in the center of the table so nobody touch it.
• Going eat out with your love one and no cell phone
• No cell before going to bed, a good book, a magazine or just enjoying each other
• A saturday outside with your family without any cellphone!

You understand the idea.. just unplug it sometimes and appreciate the real life, the real moment, the real sunset, the real funny move of your kid (or dog) and make memory in your head, like we used to do!

And you, do you unplug sometimes?