Get closer to your true self

Over the years, after a painful divorce, I truly change a lot.  Not just my physic or appearence, I change inside. 

It's like I have push the button eject and get rid of the bad in me. I was sick of being so sensitive, insecure, anxious, dependant and have a low self-esteem.  We often said that when you touch the bottom, you just have to come back to the top, it was my case.

People around me often thought that it was just as easy at pushing a real button. Because people often look at the final result and not the long way to get to it. I decide today to write a post on how I did it what was the steps for me to truly change and become my true self.

I am in constant evolution and still in the process of changing some things I don't like about myself so I will keep you guys update!

First of all : Don't over talk about your problems 

I used to focus a lot of my problems and not on the solutions. I used to talk and talk and talk about my problems. I don't know if it was to have the sympathy, the approval or whathever but I was always complaining about how my life sucks.

I spent a lot of time alone

At first I thought I was dying from inside. I hate it. I felt that my life have no sense but I needed to spent time alone and truly feel lonely, until being alone was comfortable. At the final, I learn to like it, I learn to be in peace with myself. When you are good with yourself you can spend a whole weekend by yourself doing stuff alone and truly enjoy it. This is the key to freedom, be able to be as happy alone than with people. 

Learn to listen to your inner voice and say NO

Saying no it was so difficult for me. Every sunday I had lunch at my mom and spend the day there. I had a lot of things to do, sometimes I was exhausted of my week, I didn't want to go but I kept going. Until one day I decide I wanted a whole sunday for myself doing nothing!

I said no. At first it surprise others when you say no without explaining yourself or by telling the truth but they understand. After that, I went everytime I wanted to go not by obligation. 

Learning to listen to yourself, to put you limit and know what is good and not for you is crucial. 

You have the right to have an opinion and the right to say no. 

Try new things to learn what you like 

You have no hobby? Nothing set your soul on fire? Try to find something, anything. Collecting stamps, dancing, zumba, working out, painting...whatever. Try new things and found something you truly like. 

Don't try to do the trendy things just because everybody does, try something according to who you are and what you like. Don't know where to start? Think about something you used to like to do when you were younger. There is an hobby outhere for you, you just need to find it.

Be the person you want to meet

That is so true and powerful. When I used to be anxious, I wish people will be more easy with me. So I became the person I needed too. I stop complaining, I start being positive and I start being the person I wanted to have in my life. It was not fake, it was changing some bad habits to be better with others. When you are better with others, you are better with yourself. 

Don't be scared of what people will think. 

I am too fat to workout, I am too ugly to model, I am too stupid to study... Stop thinking all the bad things about yourself, stop judging you and forget what people will think. 

You wanna do something? Do it, you have just one life and if you constantly think about what others think of you, you will end up doing nothing and be miserable. 

Look at yourself for a minute, are you the judging type? Are you the kind of person who constantly analize and judge others? If the answer is yes, it has to start with yourself. Stop being so judgemental with others and you will not worry so much about what others think. 

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How to make a good first impression!

I'm working in business development and I know how a good first impression can kill you.

It also true in your personnal life. For a first date, a job interview, meeting your boyfriend family for the first time, first impression is primordial. 

Base on science a first impression is make in 1|10 of second! So don't miss your chance. 

Also, it's been prove that a first impression is really hard to change, yes people judge a book by the cover.

So now, how to make a good first impression? Here is some tips :

Adapt your clothing for the occasion

If you are going in a casual sunday barbecue you will not wear the same clothes than on a job interview. So first, adapt your clothing for the occasion you are attending to. And remember, you may have a really distinct style but don't go too much on it. Stay classy, fully cover & pretty.

Smile

Yes you may be shy or little embarassed to meet new people, but smile. If you don't have anything smart to say, just listen.

Participate 

Try to participate without taking too much space. Nobody like somebody who take all the space and talk without taking a breath. Just prove you are happy to be there and you want to be part of it.

Speak the truth

Always!! Don't try to be someone you are not or pretending to know something you don't. Also, don't lie on loving something you truly hate. Especially on a first date, don't say you are into sport if you like to compete on how much hour you can stay watching netflix. Be yourself it's the most important think.

Tell how you feel

You are shy ? You have trouble speaking in public ? Tell it. I can relate to my own experience. I am a native french speaker and at first when I met people in the states , I always say that they have to speak slowly to me cause I am not used to english. People are more kind, they understant and they ajust. It is better to tell the truth than to look like a fool.

Stay classy

Sometimes you talk like a sailor ? Watch your mouth for a first impression. Sometimes we want to fit in or be funny but it's not funny if you are not classy. Be yourself but keep a little reserve if you are to much extravert.

Now you are ready ! You have another tips ; comment below !