Get closer to your true self

Over the years, after a painful divorce, I truly change a lot.  Not just my physic or appearence, I change inside. 

It's like I have push the button eject and get rid of the bad in me. I was sick of being so sensitive, insecure, anxious, dependant and have a low self-esteem.  We often said that when you touch the bottom, you just have to come back to the top, it was my case.

People around me often thought that it was just as easy at pushing a real button. Because people often look at the final result and not the long way to get to it. I decide today to write a post on how I did it what was the steps for me to truly change and become my true self.

I am in constant evolution and still in the process of changing some things I don't like about myself so I will keep you guys update!

First of all : Don't over talk about your problems 

I used to focus a lot of my problems and not on the solutions. I used to talk and talk and talk about my problems. I don't know if it was to have the sympathy, the approval or whathever but I was always complaining about how my life sucks.

I spent a lot of time alone

At first I thought I was dying from inside. I hate it. I felt that my life have no sense but I needed to spent time alone and truly feel lonely, until being alone was comfortable. At the final, I learn to like it, I learn to be in peace with myself. When you are good with yourself you can spend a whole weekend by yourself doing stuff alone and truly enjoy it. This is the key to freedom, be able to be as happy alone than with people. 

Learn to listen to your inner voice and say NO

Saying no it was so difficult for me. Every sunday I had lunch at my mom and spend the day there. I had a lot of things to do, sometimes I was exhausted of my week, I didn't want to go but I kept going. Until one day I decide I wanted a whole sunday for myself doing nothing!

I said no. At first it surprise others when you say no without explaining yourself or by telling the truth but they understand. After that, I went everytime I wanted to go not by obligation. 

Learning to listen to yourself, to put you limit and know what is good and not for you is crucial. 

You have the right to have an opinion and the right to say no. 

Try new things to learn what you like 

You have no hobby? Nothing set your soul on fire? Try to find something, anything. Collecting stamps, dancing, zumba, working out, painting...whatever. Try new things and found something you truly like. 

Don't try to do the trendy things just because everybody does, try something according to who you are and what you like. Don't know where to start? Think about something you used to like to do when you were younger. There is an hobby outhere for you, you just need to find it.

Be the person you want to meet

That is so true and powerful. When I used to be anxious, I wish people will be more easy with me. So I became the person I needed too. I stop complaining, I start being positive and I start being the person I wanted to have in my life. It was not fake, it was changing some bad habits to be better with others. When you are better with others, you are better with yourself. 

Don't be scared of what people will think. 

I am too fat to workout, I am too ugly to model, I am too stupid to study... Stop thinking all the bad things about yourself, stop judging you and forget what people will think. 

You wanna do something? Do it, you have just one life and if you constantly think about what others think of you, you will end up doing nothing and be miserable. 

Look at yourself for a minute, are you the judging type? Are you the kind of person who constantly analize and judge others? If the answer is yes, it has to start with yourself. Stop being so judgemental with others and you will not worry so much about what others think. 

Hope this paper help you guys ! Please comment or suscribe with your email address. 

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Why you should NEVER try diet pills!

I am not a doctor either a specialist but as millions of americans, I tried diet pills.

I tried 2 products : one with acai berry that you can find in walmart for 10 $ and It works products.
Both of them make me feel nauseated and soooo bad. Did I lose weight ? Maybe a pound or 2....And after feeling so weird, I started to make some research about diet pills...

Yes I know I should research BEFORE I take those.... but now I wanna share my experience and why you should never used them!

They can make serious damage to your body 

A lot of law suits as been made about permanent liver problems after using diet pills. Yes this is true, you can seriously have major problems taking those pills.
They can also make you feel dizzy & nauseated. Why ? Because a lot of them make you lose your water !
(this is why you look more skinny )


They will make you feel like you have more energy, for a moment

Yes at first you will feel like you have more energy. They are loaded with caffeine products that make you feel like you have energy. In fact, you are more caffeinated. It can make you feel like having palpitations, make you feel more nervous and anxious! Long terms, they can lead to serious heart problems. One pills can be like taking 3 cups of coffee... If you already drink coffee... that is too much. Hello migraine and hands shaking.

You will need to stay close to a bathroom 

Miracle? Magic Pills ? Not at all. They call it laxative and it' not good for you. Most of them have laxative propriety that is gonna make you....poop!

It will make a huge hole in your budget

They are expensive. The more popular they are, the more expensive they are. With It works, they make you on auto-refill will cost you a lot of money! Even if you buy them at Walmart, to poop & lose water, it' overpay.


Those people don't love you

That women that sell you those pills make you feel like you are her BFF ?  But she don't love you, she don't know you, she want your money. Those companies make you believe they want to help people but are they? When I want to help someone I don't charge a ton of money. It is a big company and big company have juste one goal : MAKE MONEY. When I start complaining about my Thermofit & how bad it make me feel, they told me : You are maybe allergic to one of the product in it. But mam' I have no food allergy, if it's natural (like you pretend) tell me what am I allergic to? Silence!

No proof

Yes you have seen all those pictures on Instagram and probably have a friend that it work for her. But the science have no proof that any of that products work for real. Who are you gonna believe, science or Instagram ?

What's in it? It's always vague

A lot of those pills got the mention or hashtag : Legit. Really? It's not FDA approved but it's not a street drug. When you want to know what's in the pills, it's always really vague. It's all natural. no preservatives....
Like an apple you mean ? No like a pill. Yeah right, I forgot that pills are growing in a garden... just sayin'


KFC , Sugar rush & Fries will become your BFF

Your mind will be soooo happy. It will make you believe that you can eat junk like a pig and not get fat. So what are you gonna do? You are gonna eat everything you are craving without any consequence. The pills will make the work anyway! WRONG! Yes maybe you won't get more fat but all the transfat and all the saturated fat that you are gonna ingest will stay. You will eat more junk food than ever, you will have sugar withdrawal & you will end up having more bad habits than before you started.
After that, it will be harder to stop that food & you will be in a circle of diet pills.

I hope it will help you take the best decision for you. We all dream and want to believe that the magic pills exist but the truth is that the best way to lose weight and keep your health it's to exercise & eat clean.

How to make a good first impression!

I'm working in business development and I know how a good first impression can kill you.

It also true in your personnal life. For a first date, a job interview, meeting your boyfriend family for the first time, first impression is primordial. 

Base on science a first impression is make in 1|10 of second! So don't miss your chance. 

Also, it's been prove that a first impression is really hard to change, yes people judge a book by the cover.

So now, how to make a good first impression? Here is some tips :

Adapt your clothing for the occasion

If you are going in a casual sunday barbecue you will not wear the same clothes than on a job interview. So first, adapt your clothing for the occasion you are attending to. And remember, you may have a really distinct style but don't go too much on it. Stay classy, fully cover & pretty.

Smile

Yes you may be shy or little embarassed to meet new people, but smile. If you don't have anything smart to say, just listen.

Participate 

Try to participate without taking too much space. Nobody like somebody who take all the space and talk without taking a breath. Just prove you are happy to be there and you want to be part of it.

Speak the truth

Always!! Don't try to be someone you are not or pretending to know something you don't. Also, don't lie on loving something you truly hate. Especially on a first date, don't say you are into sport if you like to compete on how much hour you can stay watching netflix. Be yourself it's the most important think.

Tell how you feel

You are shy ? You have trouble speaking in public ? Tell it. I can relate to my own experience. I am a native french speaker and at first when I met people in the states , I always say that they have to speak slowly to me cause I am not used to english. People are more kind, they understant and they ajust. It is better to tell the truth than to look like a fool.

Stay classy

Sometimes you talk like a sailor ? Watch your mouth for a first impression. Sometimes we want to fit in or be funny but it's not funny if you are not classy. Be yourself but keep a little reserve if you are to much extravert.

Now you are ready ! You have another tips ; comment below !

How to boost your motivation at work!

We will all agree with that, sometimes we better stay under our blankets and do nothing than going to work. It happen to everyone to hate their job & have an hard time finding motivation.

In my country, I used to have a job at customer service that I truly hate, but I had a big salary, good benefits etc... I had to find a way to stay motivate & love going there 40 hours per week or I wouldn't be able to survive. Now I am lucky I have a job that I love & I'm working from home but sometimes I still need some motivation!

Let me share what It really work for me :

Bond with your colleagues!

It is the first thing to do. I don't tell you to love everybody, but find at least one person to be friend with, to have good conversation at break time, someone you can talk to when you think you are not able to do it anymore.

Stop complaining

Yes your job suck, yes you are tired, yes you are not pay enough, yes your boss is a jerk ...all the reasons are there when you want to find negativity! Stop complaining & having a pity party. Put your big pants on and handle every situation with a big smile & positive vibes. Even if you are complaining every seconds about everything, it won't change, you will still be there until the end of your shift.

Have a passion outside work

Have a passion outside work that make you feel like you are doing something with your life. Whatever it is, do something you are passionate about & make you feel good to be alive. It will keep you in a good mood to handle life at work.

Take a breath of fresh air

At least one time per day, go outside and take a breathe of fresh air. A short walk or just sitting outside will make you feel like you are enjoying the day & will provide you the energy you need to keep going.

Have pictures that remind you your life "outside"

Surround yourself with pictures of your people, your cat, your dog or everything that make you happy. You work to pay a trip to Bali ? Put some pictures of Bali on your desk & focus on this. When you have a hard time, look at your pictures or things that remind you "your life outside work". It is just a job, not your whole world.

Make something special

Once per week, make something special. Something like : every friday we are eating out, every friday morning you buy yourself a coffee & a donut at the coffee shop.. Something that will make you look forward to that day & will make you feel like you did it!

Be a better employee 

Ok this one seem weird but it is true. If you are trying to be better at your work, you will find that you like it more. Sometimes, all we need is a little boost of self confidence to kick us & give us the motivation back. You think you need more training to improve ? Ask for it.  I bet your boss will be happy to know you want a be better. Do the best that you can, everyday so at the end of the day you can enjoy the fact that you did good.

Don't bring your problems at home

It is ok to talk to your people about your struggles. But if you come back home everyday super moody, complaining about everything, they will be tired of earing you. Manage your stress and your hate & if you really need to talk about, do a 5 minutes of complaining & then get over it.

Get over it

There is no perfect job, there will always be at least one colleague that will get on your nerves, there is always phase when you want to quit everyting and say fu....that sh... but get over it. Brace yourself, chin up & be an adult. Yes working suck sometimes but this is part of life. We can't be all hippies doing nothing all day & living from the homemade soap we did every full moon ..

You can do it !
Make a huge coffee and face the week!

Why I decide to stop drinking alcohol

I decided a few months ago to cut drinking wine & other alcohol every week. Yes you read it right. 

I was used to drink a bottle of wine, or some beers every weekend. I needed my glasses of wine at friday night . I don't know exactly when alcohol is really a problem but I considered that I was on my way to develop one with time.

The problem was not that I like to drink wine sometimes, the problem was that I needed it. 

The problem was that when I open a bottle, I was likely to finish it. The problem was that when I am a little bit drunk, I am becoming a nightmare. 

Here in the south, most people don't really drink by religious conviction. I think it is very noble of them. 

For me, it's not about religion (I am a believer don't misunderstand me) it's just because it is just not good for me. Nothing in it is good for my body & mind.

We are not a good match, we don't fit together anymore. Sometimes I order a drink at the restaurant and end up wishing I ordered a soda. My taste has changed and i'm proud of it.

I notice that since I quit alcohol, wine is everywhere. We live in a society that encourage people to drink.. Drinking wine is trendy. But, is it cool to wake up every saturday morning with an hangover ? Don't think so.

Is is cool to ruined your health and your liver, not for me. I used to read funny meme on pinterest about wine and thought it was "SO me". Is it? I mean, in all that I am as an human being, loving wine is not what I am proud of. Actually, it is the opposite. 

I really believe we should think that people who can have fun without drinking are the coolest.  

In a quest of being more myself, of becoming the person my soul is truly, drinking is not the way for me to get there. The best way to get there is to be true to myself and be ALL THERE. 

I don't think I am here & now when I am drunk.

I also noticed that it is hard to accept for some people. "You are boring, let's have fun" or " Just one glasse will not kill you ". I know. I know that, why you just don't accept that I CHOOSE not to ?
I am enough like I am. If i'm invited somewhere, it's because you want me to be there. So that I drink a diet coke or a huge beer is not supposed to change anything.

So this is why I quit alcohol, just because I wanted to. Because I think it's not good for me anymore & I am proud of it.

If you are running after happiness, it's time to stop!

We all know that one facebook friend that have the perfect life. Perfect home, perfect lifestyle, perfect job, perfect husband, perfect kids.... And as an human being it is prove that we are all attract by that kind of life.

Why  ? Because we were raised to be. Marketing make us thing that we NEED certain type of products to be happy. We all have our own idea of success but most of the time it is associate with money and stuff.
Someone once told me, if you are really happy in life, do you really need to show it on social media? That makes sense... The grass look always greener on your neighboor side...
Why are we obsessed to show on social media our happiness & our cool lifestyle?

Let's do something :
I want you to remember your own memories and note it. Take a step back to think about these moments

-The happiest moment that you had with your parents ?
-The happiest memory with your boyfriend / husband ?
-The best memory of your whole life?
-The best moment that you feel that everything was right and perfect?

Now, tell me if it was associate with money or material?

I bet the best memory you had with your parents was NOT when they bought the new egyptian carpet for 1000 $.

The best memory with your husband was probably NOT the moment that the two of you bought a new car.
The happiest moment of your life was NOT the perfect big TV you bought....

So why material and money would make us happy? Because we think this way.
If we stop and look around, we will found beauty and happinest in simple thing :

Play chest with your child, reading a book, walking hand in hand with your boyfriend, watching the stars at night,  listening to your favorite artist while you are cooking... This is simple, this is happiness.

Yes it is an inside job, yes it is something you have in yourself.  Because you may compare everything you have and everything you are to someone else, it won't make you happy. This is not how you are gonna feel happiness.

Maybe you need to change some things, maybe you need to look inside yourself what you want & really need. But I guarantee you that is not in money & materials that you are gonna find it.

You want to find happiness?  Stop, breathe and look around. I bet it is just in front of you and you miss it!


And you, what make you happy ?